Hey you! Want to have fun and feel great? How bout a booty buzz, a backdoor Starbucks, a bathroom booty call? That’s right. Coffee Enema time! It’s all the rage and quite a rush, too!
But wait, you say. Are you serious? No, I’m not serious. I’m silly. But I am really suggesting putting coffee where the sun don’t shine (unless you’re a hippie nudist like some folks I know.) Tee hee hee. Anyways, here’s the goods on Coffee Enema…
There’s a vein in your colon called the portal vein. It connects all the way up to your liver. When you put coffee up there, it goes up to your liver and opens the ducts and sphincters. If you saw last weeks Blessed Wellness blog post here, you remember the Sphincter of Oddi. That’s where bile comes out of the gall bladder and also where the pancreas squirts enzymes out into the duodenum, the first part of the small intestine.
So…. when the sphincter gets opened, it provides a nice opportunity for some sludge and extra bile and grit to leave the gall bladder. Since the gall bladder is the “trash can” for the body, it’s great to give it a little rinse. While this is not as effective as a liver flush, it’s also less intensive in times where you just want a quick relief of symptoms or a quick pick-me-up. You also acheive a cleansing of old impacted fecal matter from your colon. When you’re feeling sluggish, try a coffee enema. It’s real fun!
Here’s the recipe:
2 tablespoons of course ground organic coffee soaking in about a cup of pure spring water collected from a local spring or distilled water overnight. In the morning, strain out the coffee and add the spring water to your enema bag. These can be purchased at most drug stores. The most popular brand is Cara. Add more pure water till the bag is full. Make the new water you’re adding warm to hot so that the whole bag ends up being nicely warm, like a warm, not scalding hot, bath.
You can also use swiss water-pressed decaf if you do not wish to take in all the caffeine. Decaf does still have a small amount of caffeine, though.
Now for doing the deed:
First, read the instructions on how to work the enema bag and the tube and closure if this is your first time doing an enema.
I like to set up a soothing atmosphere in the bathroom. I lay pillows down in the bathtub and cover them with a towel, light candles, and play soft music. If I’m really feeling sweet, I’ll put some fresh flowers in there to look at too!
Hang your bag up on the shower head or curtain rod. Release some coffee water out of the tip into the drain to make sure there’s no air in the tube. My favorite enema position is on hands and knees with butt up. Some people like to lay on their back and take it in that way. Use an organic oil like olive or coconut to lubricate the tip of the enema and also your anus. Gently and slowly slide it in. Then release the stopper to allow just the tiniest bit of flow into your rectum. You may need to hold the tip of the tube in your rectum, or you may be able to let it go and wash your hands for a hands-free experience. I generally hold it for a while, till I feel stable in the position.
Breathe very deeply, gently and slowly. Make it a meditation. As you get used to the feeling of the filling of your colon, you can open the valve a notch or two more. You might experience some waves of intense feeling of needing to go diarreah. You can either carefully pull out the tip go release into the toilet, wash your hands, re-lubricate, re-insert and keep going. OR, you can just breathe through the intensity and it will subside. Do whatever feels the most natural and beneficial for you and your body in the moment. Vocalize as needed. Sometimes I do low groans, and this really helps.
During this process, if you can manage to free up a hand, take some oil and massage your belly. The direction is counter-clockwise, if you were a person standing in front of you and looking at your belly. Make an upside down “U” shape from your lower left groin up and over just under your ribs and down towards your lower left groin area. You can do it in little dips all along the “U” shape. Also, do some jiggling to help release sludge in the colon as the water fills.
Once you have taken in all the coffee water. Try to hold it in for 15 minutes. Less is ok too. Don’t strain yourself. Even 5 minutes is still a wonderful success. You can do more massage and jiggling. For more experienced enema peeps, you can even do yoga poses like downward dog, shoulder stand, and cobra! If you make a mess, it’s ok. You’ll just have to deal with your own sh1@! Ha ha.
When you’re ready, go to the toilet and take your time enjoying the wonderful release. You can do some more massage and jiggling on the toilet, this time in the opposite direction. Clean up your enema sanctuary and go about your day, feeling lighter and refreshed, and possibly with a little nice buzz!
Through the end of May, you can get $22 dollars off a liver flush package, which includes an hour consultation with me, a .pdf instruction manual, and Facebook Group Support. Click the contact page to contact me for more info.
Next week on the Blessed Wellness blog, learn about a Red Hot Natural High You Don’t Want to Miss Out On!
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To your Blessed Wellness,